Today at mass, the Gospel was about Simon Peter and Andrew fishing and Jesus telling them to come follow Him because He will bring them the abundance they need to survive and He will show them that God loves them. Fr. Belzack gave his homily and used people today as people who lived in darkness, living without the realization that God loves them.

He said that when Bush was growing up and he was an alcoholic, he was living in darkness. He was living without the realization that God loves him. When Clinton was president and he went through all his problems, he was living without the realization that God loves him. Kilpatrick, the mayor of Detroit, is putting Detroit through turmoil and it’s because he, too, is living in the darkness without the realization that God loves him.

Fr. Belzack was saying not just those people, but all of us has a time in our life when we live in darkness without the knowledge that God loves us. When we sin, we create this hole in our souls and we feel that nothing can fill that hole, so we sin some more thinking that those two minute pleasures will give us “peace” and will fill that hole.

But God was saying in the Gospel that He’s the only One Who can fill the hole with His light and His love. He wants His light to shine through that hole in our souls. We sin because we think it’s what will make us happy or give us peace. What we fail to see is that the happiness that will be eternal is the happiness in following Him and the realization that God loves us.

And sometimes I think that’s what Simon and I go through. Like right now, we’re both being re-re about what happened Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I was being hella insecure and got mad at Simon because he didn’t stand up for me when Ate Aimee brought up his ex. I shouldn’t have been retarded and thinking that it’s because he still might have feelings for her. I need to have faith that he did what he did because he believed it was the right thing and he does love me.

And last night, he was worried and felt that I might have forgotten about him. But that’s not true because I would talk about him as much as I could and at every opportunity that came about. Marcus is even excited to meet him and Byn, Ray, and Marcus was even asking about him. He shouldn’t have worried about that, too.

I think our insecurities come from the darkness, too. I think because we lack the reminder that He loves us, we lack the reminder that the other loves us, too. I know, I’m a genius. hahaha

Word.

<3

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