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the_nikki_babe
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: NEE-KEE-KEE aka NV Birthday: 4/25/1987 Interests: BNP/GOD, dancing [bgirl-ing especially] Expertise: grubbin', being the Crest Kid Message: message me Website: visit my website AIM: the nikki babe Member Since: 7/10/2004

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BGiRLs & Hip Hop`n Ladiez
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---BNP---Banal na Pag-aaral--- BASICS!
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Sole Searchers
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JESUS is my homeboy
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~~MiChiGan BbOys/BgURLs~~
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+M I D W E S T BBOYS/BGIRLS+ welcome to our cult
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True Love Waits
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HOLLISTER CO.
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Thursday, March 27, 2008

It always made me wonder...

Why do people break up with someone they find and love because they’re scared that that person is going to eventually break up with them later on? Why does pain and being hurt in past relationships have to cause pain and unnecessary crap in current/future relationships?

I, like many of my friends and I bet like lots of people, have broken up with the love of my life because I tend to lose confidence in my self-worth, thinking that he would eventually break it off with me because I suck at life.

Thank goodness I caught a great one who’s understanding and wouldn’t let go of me no way no how! But it’s true, I know many people who have done it or are doing it right now… letting go of the one you love because you think they’ll end up just like past relationships… breaking up with you at some point. It’s hard to completely move on and pretend like the past never happened. It’s hard to let go of the memory of the pain you felt before.

I just have to keep reminding myself of my self-worth and that I really am worth having someone so understanding and patient… someone who would risk his life just to keep me. I AM WORTH HAVING SOMEONE WHO I CAN LOVE AND WHO CAN LOVE ME IN RETURN. And it’s wonderful when you remember, yet harsh when you forget.

Props to Byn for reminding me my self-worth when I went through rough times. I never looked at it like that until we had a little chat about love and life.

“Love like you’ve never been hurt.“

AMEN.
<3

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Now playing: Alicia Keys - 09 Teenage Love Affair
via FoxyTunes

8:20 PM - 81 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Sunday, January 27, 2008

We all live in darkness sometimes

Today at mass, the Gospel was about Simon Peter and Andrew fishing and Jesus telling them to come follow Him because He will bring them the abundance they need to survive and He will show them that God loves them. Fr. Belzack gave his homily and used people today as people who lived in darkness, living without the realization that God loves them.

He said that when Bush was growing up and he was an alcoholic, he was living in darkness. He was living without the realization that God loves him. When Clinton was president and he went through all his problems, he was living without the realization that God loves him. Kilpatrick, the mayor of Detroit, is putting Detroit through turmoil and it’s because he, too, is living in the darkness without the realization that God loves him.

Fr. Belzack was saying not just those people, but all of us has a time in our life when we live in darkness without the knowledge that God loves us. When we sin, we create this hole in our souls and we feel that nothing can fill that hole, so we sin some more thinking that those two minute pleasures will give us “peace” and will fill that hole.

But God was saying in the Gospel that He’s the only One Who can fill the hole with His light and His love. He wants His light to shine through that hole in our souls. We sin because we think it’s what will make us happy or give us peace. What we fail to see is that the happiness that will be eternal is the happiness in following Him and the realization that God loves us.

And sometimes I think that’s what Simon and I go through. Like right now, we’re both being re-re about what happened Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I was being hella insecure and got mad at Simon because he didn’t stand up for me when Ate Aimee brought up his ex. I shouldn’t have been retarded and thinking that it’s because he still might have feelings for her. I need to have faith that he did what he did because he believed it was the right thing and he does love me.

And last night, he was worried and felt that I might have forgotten about him. But that’s not true because I would talk about him as much as I could and at every opportunity that came about. Marcus is even excited to meet him and Byn, Ray, and Marcus was even asking about him. He shouldn’t have worried about that, too.

I think our insecurities come from the darkness, too. I think because we lack the reminder that He loves us, we lack the reminder that the other loves us, too. I know, I’m a genius. hahaha

He's coming here on Thursday......... ahhhh gosh I can't wait<33333333333333

Word.

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Now playing: 10. Natasha Bedingfield - Freckles
via FoxyTunes

1:34 PM - 57 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Monday, October 29, 2007

So Deep...

If only she knew ....

how deep my love goes for her.

It's something I can't express in words,

my actions only do it an injustice.

With each passing day I try to tell her,

I try to show her what she means to me.

Why and how much I love her,

how much I miss her,

But it's something so infinite,

so beautiful that when I do find some words to explain,

I'm only explaining a small portion and can't catch up

to the ever growing love within.

It's a race to let her know all my feelings,

as more feelings build up inside of me.

The ever going marathon that I can never win,

that I don't want to win.

But instead run for the rest of my life,

so I can show her each and everyday.

Never really knowing the full capacity,

not ever seeing the love that is so deep,

but only feeling what I can express at that moment.

Perhaps that day will never come,

that she can see all of this that has grown.

Maybe it just might happen, whenever that day will be.

The thought of holding her hand at the altar with God,

could quite possibly be that day.

That day that she sees and understands everything,

the moment where my tears of joy will blanket her with love.

Where vows are shared and two become one with His love.

So deep is this love I have for her,

sometimes I can't even understand.

It goes far beyond my heart and soul,

and is a love that only He can grant.

Is it a feeling? Is it an emotion?

More of an experience, more of a prayer.

It's that grace that constantly fills your cup,

and you just want to receive more and share it.

Never letting go and always building on His love,

this is how we got to this point of where it's limitless.

It's not a love that we can share alone,

but a love that is ever lasting with Him.

Growing with one another with no hesitation,

in every possible way.

Being in this constant state of grace,

one can't help but think if it's all a dream.

If this is something that is just too good to be true,

but then you see, you feel, you touch your souls' mate.

Friends at first, who are now lovers,

hiding the feelings that He gave to us to prepare.

To be at our bests' to love,

to have and to hold ... to serve.

Falling IN love,

falling IN faith,

falling IN grace ... so hard, so deep.

+ MoMon ~ the ninth day of the tenth month in the two thousand and seventh year

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Now playing: Alicia Keys - No One
via FoxyTunes

12:36 PM - 94 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

He leaves me...

He leaves me...
speechless
With the backbone chilling sound of silence
Basking in a moment in which neither of us
can find a word to explain how good we feel.

Until you bring up a funny moment, whether it be your crunking
or whatever miscellaneous

Everyday I wait for darkness to occur
When I can be at home, tucked in my warm comforter
And have the comfort of you on the other end of the line
And after saying night prayers and giving thanks to God
I am left
Hearing you breathe as you slip away
to the unconscious
Leaving me to my own unconsciousness

Then back to reality when your ringtone soothes me into a sweet awakening and the sound of your voice greets me "Good morning"

And how it is another good morning waking up
to you.

After saying our morning prayers and giving thanks to God
we share about random moments that spring into our minds
As I reach for the snooze button 5 times
And then finally get out of bed and get ready
Brushing my teeth while you linger
on the line.

Then we say our goodbye's
And you leave me...
wanting more time with you before I have to leave
until the texts when I'm at school and you're at work
Sharing each day via picture messaging.
Thank you, mobile-to-mobile, for allowing me to share
my days with my lobster.

And then the time I long for when the night falls
Arrives
And leaves me...
feeling blessed.

Nicole O. Veridiano - September 15, 2007

<3

7:56 PM - 49 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Saturday, September 08, 2007

The Lover post

Love is you.
Yeah... it's him.
And I'm crazy about him. haha
He's an answered prayer, too. He came at the perfect time. I say that because I'm completely over my ex. And I made sure of that when I was there for the World Youth Conference in Cali. That's also when I made a promise to Him to step up with my service and that's when I also got my answer of what my next step should be. I've received alot of graces this year and so many blessings, more than I could have ever asked for. And I'm so focused and I've made a few vows to myself that I intend on keeping... and then came him :]

I can't describe how I feel. It's different from how I felt with anyone else. We had our first phone conversation after it being made official or whatever... and we were both sooo nervous, my palms were sweating like madd and I couldn't stop cheesin' like a mug hahaha... retarded much? Yes. It's a really different feeling... maybe because I really feel like this could go somewhere and not be one of those stupid 3-week relationships. I really want to try to be the best that I can for him. I hope he can be comfortable around me because I feel really comfortable around him... even with that whole butterfly-in-the-stomach, sweaty palms feeling haha... it's all in a good way.

And what I love most is that he really is an answered prayer. I say that because when I realized I was finally over Ant and whoever past ex's or whatever they were... I prayed to God and asked Him that "whoever comes along, please let me take my time with him and help me to be friends with him first. Please help me to stay on top of my service and keep my commitments to my youth. And please if it's possible, let him be the one... because I don't want one of those relationships that last for a few weeks or months or years when there wasn't even the possibility of a future anyways. I want to be with someone who could see himself marrying me and vice versa (which I do see is possible with him). I'm done playing around... but I won't be looking, I'll be waiting." And he's BNP... it's absolutely wonderful. We can grow and learn with each other in His love. I just hope we can help grace each other up, instead of bring each other down.

I hope I've learned from my past relationship on how to be a better girlfriend. I hope that I can be one of his best friends. Yeah, so I watched the Notebook last night hahaha I DO BELIEVE IN LOVE STORIES .. not like in the movies, but I do believe in happy endings. GOSH!

And then he came along. First we were joking and then he asked me if we really are together and I was like heck yeah... I was scared out of my socks to tell him, too because I didn't know if he felt the same and I had already started developing feelings for him through that whole "joke" only to find out later that he liked me all along and he started that joke because he really did want to be with me. And I LOVE the fact that we started off as friends and he was someone I could really trust, even if I didn't talk to him all the time or whatever... I did trust him. Dang, I freakin gave him the link to this journal. Insannneee.

Ahhhh but yes. This is the Simon-post. The update of my life thus far. And I'm just so happy.
I really do hope he sticks around... I hope that he can be that person that is willing to commit to me, falling in and out and BACK in love with me. I hope that'll be him. But I lie... I don't want to have too high of hopes. But I'm just so happy. Like really happy.

I hope he understands my insecurities. I told him and he seems really patient and understanding. He's always reassuring me. I love it.
Haha and NO ONE believed that we were together. But WE ARE and it's too good. I feel like a loser haha I can't stop smiling.

And I hope I can make him just as happy.
I'm excited to see him this weekend :]
Oh yeah, he's a long-distance loverrr haha but alot closer and in the same time-zone, it's quite nice.
He's a New Yorker... I can't wait to visit him over there! I know it's too early to say I love him or whatever because I'm not going to jump that quickly... but I know him. And I trust him. And it's beautiful.
<3

7:51 AM - 41 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

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